I know this is totally off topic, but I wouldn’t feel right not sharing this. If you’re planning on having a baby in the future or not, I absolutely think reading this post would be worth your time.
Let me explain.
About two years ago, I ran across this video (below) about hypnobirthing and having a pain free birth. I was immediately intrigued (though Zac and I weren’t even close to start trying to start a family). It sounded TOTALLY my style, very much Wildly Alive.
In a nutshell, hypnobirthing is about removing the fear around birth so you can create your OWN experience. One that is centered around love, celebration and all the magic that can occur during birth.
Yes, they use the term “Hypno” short for Hypnotherapy, but don’t let that freak you out. Hypnotherapy is merely a deep state of meditation (no staring at a watch swinging back and fourth in front of your face).
After I got pregnant I started searching for some hypnobirthing classes in my area, and to my amazement, though I live in a small town, I found one. I was thrilled and Zac was definitely interested in learning more.
It was a 5 week course and after every class I would leave practically in tears grateful that I had found this information… but also feeling badly for those women who hadn’t. Which is why I feel so compelled to share this with you today…
We are conditioned to believe that birth is some bloody, scream at the top of your lungs, sweaty, gory, mess.
You see it in movies and television shows all the time… and since these images have came to the media they have instilled a state a fear in most new moms out there.
Then to add salt to a wound, since most people like to connect over misery rather than joy, every mom out there who didn’t have a great birthing experience is quick to tell you how unbearably painful and horrible it is… Then leaves you with, “Good luck!”
I love me some Gandhi, and he once said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes.”
So what happens over time is these images and messages start to create our reality. Where more women are having terrible birthing experiences than great ones. And then those few women with great stories are reluctant to share because when they have shared in the past they are quickly dismissed with eye rolls of disbelief — overlooked and shoved away.
In my opinion this is a contributing factor as to why your first child tends to come later than the predicted due date. Yes, I understand physiologically it’s the first time your body is going through this and “figuring it out” as it goes along, but I believe the mind is the most powerful muscle in the body.
If a new mother hasn’t had the tools, resources or support to work through some of her deeper fears around the birth, when the times comes she subconsciously holds back. Then, eventually the baby has to come out and the birthing experience ends up being one of stress, fear and anxiety… Of course creating long, painful births because…
…your body needs to be *relaxed* and *calm* to give birth, and you as the mother need to be in a state of trust which is hard to do when this is the merging point of all your fears.
Hypnobirthing is full of proof that this doesn’t have to be the case. You are given loads of information, images, videos, and stories of women who’ve experience relaxed, loving and calm births. In class we also discussed and worked through every fear we had around birth and parenthood as a group. Future mothers and fathers opened up and we all healed those together.
Since class has been over Zac and I have continued to instill these beliefs (no matter what we hear or see on television). We have the resources to open up the conversation and continue talking about any new fears that may come up as we get closer to our due date. We also listen to our meditations and visualizations, look at positive birthing images and watch videos to drown out any outside, fear based messages.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not banking on this birth going perfectly or it being completely pain free. I tell my clients all the time, it’s great to have a plan but you have to be okay with it not going that way. You have to trust the way that it really unfolds and go with the flow… And I plan on taking my own advice (fingers crossed).
I know this will be THE biggest event in my life and will be very intense, but I’m really excited to experience it. I’ve been “training” for this event for the last 9 months; nutritionally and physically so I have the endurance and stamina, but more importantly I’ve been preparing mentally. Using all my hypnobirthing tools, daily.
If you are planning on having a baby anytime in the future, I highly suggest checking out Hypnobirthing and see if it’s a good fit for you.
Here are some great sites:
If you think I’m totally full of it — just listen to these four women’s hypnobirthing experience:
And if you aren’t having children in the future I believe the most loving thing you can do is instill a sense of trust and love onto every pregnant woman you come across.
Lets put the horror stories to rest and focus on the beauty of it all.
Even if your birth didn’t go the way you’d hoped, share the good parts :). And I’d suggest doing some healing around that as well. The books Birthing From Within and Mothering From Your Center both have great exercises and resources on to do so.
Again, I don’t believe there is one thing out there that will work for everyone so if it’s not your cup of tea, honor that. I just felt a duty to share this information — you can take it or leave it.
P.S. The funny thing is, as I am writing this I’m 3 weeks away from my “due time” (as they call it in hypnobirthing so we’re not tided to a certain date and get stressed if we don’t deliver on that date) and writing this has been a good reminder for me to stay calm and trust!